Tag Archives: Life

Driving Test!

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So, it’s almost 11pm and I thought now is a good a time as any to write a post. Okay, that’s not true, here’s the deal. I have my driving test tomorrow. I worry way too much. I can’t sleep. I thought writing this might help me worry less and stop thoughts going round and round in my head. I’ve always been a worrier.

Anyway, I should at least attempt to sleep. Wish me luck guys!

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Having a Bad Day Doesn’t Even Cover It

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I’ve had the most awful day. My boss had me in tears. Yep, I was actually crying and thinking ‘What the hell are you crying for?!’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a model employee. I put things off to the last minute (like taking the rubbish out on bin today, cos that’s what admin assistants do!), and slouch all the time.

But I do get everything done, and I have a hell of a lot to do. My boss had a meeting with  me and my manager. She made me feel like an awful person. We had a new girl start with us a couple of months ago and she quit yesterday. My boss said when she started I was nasty, unwelcoming, and awkward towards her. I’ve never been called anything like that in my life. I admit she refused to listen to me and I got frustated but thats definitely an exageration! We were both jokingly mean to each other but it was definitely both ways.

She also said that in the last three weeks I’ve been acting like her best mate laughing and joking with her and my productivity had gone way down. The new girl had effected my work. She was always saying what an awful job this was asking why I was still there after two years – believe me I know, I just didn’t need to be anymore depressed about it. My manager actually agreed with my boss but she only in the office a couple hours of week at the minute as she’s on maternity leave.

This wasn’t all she said. I just felt she was describing someone else. I honestly didn’t know what to make of everything she was saying. I still don’t. I can’t leave because my mum and dad would kill me if I left without having another job. Each morning brings such dread.

Someone employ me please.

Turning 21 And Clueless About Life

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So, it’s my 21st birthday tomorrow and I’ve not got the slightest clue what I’m doing with my life. I honestly can’t believe I’ve got to this age and I am where I am in my life. I feel like I haven’t achieved anything of any importance. It also makes me feel old to think I left college almost three years ago and school FIVE years ago! Where has the time gone?!

This might seem a bit silly but here’s a list of things I hope to achieve or be doing when I’m 25. I was gonna do a list of things I’d like to achieve by the time I’m 30 but then I imagined my life panning out something like Bridget Jones’ Diary and I really can’t think about that or imagine being 30!

1. Not be stuck in a job I loath.

2. Figure out what I want to do with my life.

3. Go to at least one Formula One Grand Prix.

4. Move out (I’d LOVE to live to London!).

5. Read more books (this one’s kind of ongoing).

6. Be less pessimistic (yeah, I know).

7. Travel.

8. Not be poor (I’m not sure where I’m going with this one).

9. Not be surrounded by people who are complete arseholes.

10. Buy a designer dress and handbag (regardless of whether I can afford it or not!)

11. Start writing the thoughts you have in your head and see what story is created.

12. Have more to laugh about.

13. Be more spontaneous.

14. Actually enjoy life!

See you all tomorrow…aged 21!

Yeah, I’m Still Here

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I know I’ve been neglecting blogging recently, and I apologise, reader(s). I could tell you that I’ve been busy volunteering at my local charity, but I’d rather not lie.

So, I’ll just give you a general overview of the goings on of my life recently. If you read my post from a few weeks ago, ‘A Bit Of A Rant‘ you’ll know I have an awful job. Well, things have actually got worse, my manager is pregnant so my boss is putting more pressure on me to pass my driving test and buy a car. As my manager will be on maternity leave from after Christmas, I’m expected to fill her role as Office Manager/Accountant (not that I have a clue of what that actually consists of) and train a new apprentice to take on my job.

We had three people come into the office for a trial day on separate days. The first person lacked common sense, the second person was lovely and was relatively intelligent, and the third smelled of cigarettes and two hours into the day asked if she could have a fag break. 😐 Needless to say which one we went for. I already feel sorry for the poor soul, she hasn’t even started the job yet, but she has no idea what she has let herself into. I don’t know how the next few months are going to pan out but I’m still hoping I’ll find a job soon. I feel I’ll be trapped if I don’t leave before my manager goes on maternity leave.

I’ve recently bought JK Rowling’s ‘The Casual Vacancy’ (for the suprisingly reasonable price of £9) which I can’t wait to get stuck into! There have been a lot of mixed reviews about it but I’d like to stay impartial until and I’ve read it myself.

At the minute, I’m watching The Great British Bake Off on BBC 2 and the cakes are the meaning of perfection! They are making me very hungry but they look so good I wouldn’t want to ruin them because look so detailed and artistic!

Gorgeous or what?!

Also, the word ‘Amazeballs’ has been added to the dictionary. This irritates me.

Tony Nicklinson – Why Won’t You Let Me Die?

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Tony and His Wife Jane

Tony Nicklinson was a British Man who suffered from a stroke in 2005, and since then had suffered with locked-in syndrome aged 51. He was unable to move or communicate with any part of his body, other than his eyes. However, like you and me, he was completely awake and aware.

In 2010, Tony’s legal team sought guidance about assisted suicide as British law states anyone who assists suicide will be prosecuted. His case reached the High Court in March 2012 and on 12 August 2012 Tony was denied his right to die.

Tony was the vice-chairman of the Arabian Gulf Rugby Football Union before his stroke and was described as an outgoing and confident person with a busy and active social and family life. He was a husband and father of two.

We can communicate with others, confide in them, share our adventures and explore the world. In his High Court case, Tony described his life as ‘dull, miserable, demeaning, undignified and intolerable’. Can you imagine being stripped of your dignity? Not being able to feed yourself, wash yourself, or scratch an itch? Much like a baby, except the inability to grow out of it.

Please excuse the comparison, but would it be appropriate to treat an animal in such way? In 2005 when Tony called for an ambulance, he unknowingly made a choice. He chose to live. He chose to do this because he had a life worth living. He also chose to die with the assistance of a doctor. This was not just a choice but a right which was wrongly taken away from him after years of being trapped in his own body. Tony stated that if he had known what his life would become when he had had that stroke, he would not have called an ambulance, but died then. He had the right to die then, but not now?

Who has the right to say who lives and dies? These men in suites who broke the heart of man by taking away the only choice he had left in life? He clearly felt that quality of life was far more important than quantity of life. The Courts do not have to live with this decision but Tony would for what could have been up to 20 more years of his life. Why not allow him to die on his own terms when he had already made piece with his decision and his choice to die?

Tony had ruled out going to Switzerland to end his life and wished for his wife to have no hand in the process. There was also no guarantee that whoever assisted him would not be prosecuted.

In June 2012, Tony sent his first tweet (@TonyNicklinson) using eye movement technology. He could only ‘speak’ with his wife, spelling out words letter by letter by winking at a letter board. “Hello world. I am tony nicklinson, I have locked-in syndrome and this is my first ever tweet. #tony.” He gained thousands of followers and much needed support.

After Tony received the High Court’s decision, he lost hope and became severely depressed. He refused medication and refused to eat. Why wasn’t he forced to eat? I don’t think they had the ‘right’ to. Tony became weak and contracted pneumonia. On the 22 August 2012, Tony died in his home in Wiltshire, aged 58.

As the saying goes, if you can’t find a reason to live, then find one to die for. Tony’s finally tweet: ‘Goodbye world the time has come, I had some fun’

I sincerely hope Tony has found solace wherever he is after these horrific years since his stroke. My thoughts are with his family. X

Who’s The Fairest of Them All?

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There has been a lot of scrutiny recently over the morality of celebrities. After Kristen Stewart’s affair it was reported that she would not be appearing in the prequel of Snow White and The Huntsman, however, Rupert Sanders may still be directing. I don’t believe that she should have to suffer professionally due to personal circumstances which were brought to public’s attention without those affected having knowledge of it whatsoever. What has really caught my attention is not all the ‘celeb gossip’ or whatever you want to call it, but that Kristen Stewart is suffering from the backlash of her actions but not Rupert Sanders. They are both adults, and both equally responsible for their actions, yet the woman is scrutinised far more than the man. Sanders is by no means in the public eye as much as Stewart, but why are her actions seen as far worse than his?

Another example is Chris Brown and Rihanna. To my knowledge, I an unaware of Brown’s actions towards Rihanna having any effect on his career whatsoever. His abuse towards Rihanna however, was completely out of line. Three years since their turbulent past, they are back in the media’s attention after Rihanna’s recently aired interview with Oprah. I haven’t watched it as I assume it is only available on American television, but Rihanna claimed she still loves Chris Brown and that she is still protective over him. There has been a lot of dispute over her words as she is apparently setting a bad example to those who have been effected by domestic violence. She opened up about a truly horrific part of her life, which must have been difficult for her. She was not bitter about her experience but saddened, and far more courageous than a lot people as she forgave Brown for what he did. Does that really make her a soft touch or weak?

Further examples include Mike Tyson raping an 18 year old girl, found guilty, yet his boxing career was not effected whatsoever. Actor, Hugh Grant has slept with prostitutes, yet his political opinion is still highly regarded within British media. Footballer, Wayne Rooney has paid prostitutes, thousands of pounds for one night stands, (once whilst his wife was pregnant) yet he still receives a six figure salary each week.

Yet, the question still remains, why are women scrutinised far more than men?

Is University The Right Choice?

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With university tuition fees tripling from £3,000 to £9,000 per year beginning this academic year, is it necessarily the ‘right’ route to take? Due to the pressures of society to enter university, it may seem so over apprenticeships and other educational opportunites which aren’t seen as equal value.

When I was at college, university was seemed as the only option. Any other route seemed like a lesser or not as worthy of an option than continuing in full time education. Yesterday was 2 years from my dreaded A level results day and the only thing I was adamant about was that I didn’t want to go to university and that due to my lack of revision, I wouldn’t be getting the straight As I probably could have.

I went on to do an apprenticeship and I’ve still not a clue what I want to do with my life and I consider whether I would have been better off going to university. Of course there would have been the joy of moving away (probably to London) making new friends, and getting drunk on a regular basis! I would be a poor student but would I have a clearer vision of what I wanted to do if I was living that life right now?

If I did, I would be in my third year of university as of September/October this year, but when I think of that, all that comes to mind is that revision is not my friend but that it doesn’t sound too bad considering I’m leaving my house at 7.40am, 5 days a week for work.

Students all over the UK are currently pondering whether they’ll be able to pay off their monstrous tuition fees in three years time and if they will be able to secure their dream job, or even any job for that matter, in the current economic climate. That’s what university has become about as it is not free as it used to be all those years ago, it is more of a worry rather than the joy of a new incredible chapter of your life.

I am grateful that by the end of the next academic year I won’t be in a mountain of debt and have to worry about soaring interest rates. But I wonder whether I’m missing out on 3 incredible years or if I would be just as unhappy as I am about my current situation.

I don’t think university is necessarily the answer unless you know what you want to study, and what use you degree will really be. I am not dismissing that it is essential to go the university if you want to go into certain professions but I do know many people who have gone to university not because they wanted to, but didn’t want to get a job and decided to put it off for a few years.

But I can’t say university is right or wrong as it depends on the individual.  I do know university is not the only way, it just seems like an extremely popular way – a critical piece of information which is missing in today’s society as many people fear of being different. Some very successful people didn’t go to university e.g. Alan Sugar, Steve Jobs, Jamie Oliver etc.

This article prompted me to write this post.

Something I am certain of is that I’ve been at work for 2 hours and I should get on with my job and stop blogging….