So, it’s almost 11pm and I thought now is a good a time as any to write a post. Okay, that’s not true, here’s the deal. I have my driving test tomorrow. I worry way too much. I can’t sleep. I thought writing this might help me worry less and stop thoughts going round and round in my head. I’ve always been a worrier.
Anyway, I should at least attempt to sleep. Wish me luck guys!
I’ve had the most awful day. My boss had me in tears. Yep, I was actually crying and thinking ‘What the hell are you crying for?!’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a model employee. I put things off to the last minute (like taking the rubbish out on bin today, cos that’s what admin assistants do!), and slouch all the time.
But I do get everything done, and I have a hell of a lot to do. My boss had a meeting with me and my manager. She made me feel like an awful person. We had a new girl start with us a couple of months ago and she quit yesterday. My boss said when she started I was nasty, unwelcoming, and awkward towards her. I’ve never been called anything like that in my life. I admit she refused to listen to me and I got frustated but thats definitely an exageration! We were both jokingly mean to each other but it was definitely both ways.
She also said that in the last three weeks I’ve been acting like her best mate laughing and joking with her and my productivity had gone way down. The new girl had effected my work. She was always saying what an awful job this was asking why I was still there after two years – believe me I know, I just didn’t need to be anymore depressed about it. My manager actually agreed with my boss but she only in the office a couple hours of week at the minute as she’s on maternity leave.
This wasn’t all she said. I just felt she was describing someone else. I honestly didn’t know what to make of everything she was saying. I still don’t. I can’t leave because my mum and dad would kill me if I left without having another job. Each morning brings such dread.
Someone employ me please.
So, it’s my 21st birthday tomorrow and I’ve not got the slightest clue what I’m doing with my life. I honestly can’t believe I’ve got to this age and I am where I am in my life. I feel like I haven’t achieved anything of any importance. It also makes me feel old to think I left college almost three years ago and school FIVE years ago! Where has the time gone?!
This might seem a bit silly but here’s a list of things I hope to achieve or be doing when I’m 25. I was gonna do a list of things I’d like to achieve by the time I’m 30 but then I imagined my life panning out something like Bridget Jones’ Diary and I really can’t think about that or imagine being 30!
1. Not be stuck in a job I loath.
2. Figure out what I want to do with my life.
3. Go to at least one Formula One Grand Prix.
4. Move out (I’d LOVE to live to London!).
5. Read more books (this one’s kind of ongoing).
6. Be less pessimistic (yeah, I know).
8. Not be poor (I’m not sure where I’m going with this one).
9. Not be surrounded by people who are complete arseholes.
10. Buy a designer dress and handbag (regardless of whether I can afford it or not!)
11. Start writing the thoughts you have in your head and see what story is created.
12. Have more to laugh about.
13. Be more spontaneous.
14. Actually enjoy life!
See you all tomorrow…aged 21!
So, it’s the 1st November today. How did that happen?! Where has the year gone? I feel like I haven’t done much and it’s kind of been a waste of a year. I feel bad when I’ve wasted a day or a week, but a year; now that’s a bad feeling.
On 29th October I realised it was three months until my 21st birthday. Again, how can I be almost 21? I think the happiness of getting older is only there as long as you want it to stay around. I know some people hate it when their birthday comes round ‘another year gone’ kind of thing. As sad as it sounds I’m not really excited because 21 seems like an age to grow up, you know? Like be a real proper adult. Scary. I mean, you have the excitement of getting a job at 16, leaving school and starting college; you can drive when you’re 17 and drink legally when you’re 18 so by the time you’re 21 the nostalgia of doing these things kind of disappear. So 21 seems scary more than sad!
On a brighter note I have a four day week at work. Everyone loves four day weeks 🙂 I hope you’re enjoying your day whether you’re at school, college, university, work, or on the dole. Actually, if you’re on the dole getting into a habit of watching Jeremy Kyle isn’t healthy.
I’ve been listening to this song a lot. I love it; It’s so original and creative. Some people think Lana Del Rey’s music is depressing. Have a listen for yourself. Enjoy 🙂
I know I’ve been neglecting blogging recently, and I apologise, reader(s). I could tell you that I’ve been busy volunteering at my local charity, but I’d rather not lie.
So, I’ll just give you a general overview of the goings on of my life recently. If you read my post from a few weeks ago, ‘A Bit Of A Rant‘ you’ll know I have an awful job. Well, things have actually got worse, my manager is pregnant so my boss is putting more pressure on me to pass my driving test and buy a car. As my manager will be on maternity leave from after Christmas, I’m expected to fill her role as Office Manager/Accountant (not that I have a clue of what that actually consists of) and train a new apprentice to take on my job.
We had three people come into the office for a trial day on separate days. The first person lacked common sense, the second person was lovely and was relatively intelligent, and the third smelled of cigarettes and two hours into the day asked if she could have a fag break. 😐 Needless to say which one we went for. I already feel sorry for the poor soul, she hasn’t even started the job yet, but she has no idea what she has let herself into. I don’t know how the next few months are going to pan out but I’m still hoping I’ll find a job soon. I feel I’ll be trapped if I don’t leave before my manager goes on maternity leave.
I’ve recently bought JK Rowling’s ‘The Casual Vacancy’ (for the suprisingly reasonable price of £9) which I can’t wait to get stuck into! There have been a lot of mixed reviews about it but I’d like to stay impartial until and I’ve read it myself.
At the minute, I’m watching The Great British Bake Off on BBC 2 and the cakes are the meaning of perfection! They are making me very hungry but they look so good I wouldn’t want to ruin them because look so detailed and artistic!
Gorgeous or what?!
Also, the word ‘Amazeballs’ has been added to the dictionary. This irritates me.